


Clarity

by solar_celeste



Series: Dwindling [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solar_celeste/pseuds/solar_celeste
Summary: He had just been hoping to say goodnight.





	Clarity

His and Todd’s patrol had concluded before before Father’s and Drake’s, much to Damian’s disappointment. He had hoped the man would have been home in time to bid Damian goodnight so the boy would get the chance to converse with his father at least once that day. However, as it seemed, luck was not on his side once again.

 

The covers were cold and Titus was already fast asleep on the floor in the hall, leaving Damian to himself for company, not minding Alfred the cat on the foot of his bed of course.

 

It was lonely. The air in the room was stuffy but with an unwanted chill. The blinds remained open, as Damian forgot to close them, and let moonlight leak onto his desk. The surface was cluttered, an unusual feet for Damian, but the boy hadn’t been himself lately. His sketchbook lay open, revealing half finished drawings of abandoned buildings and leaking eyes. Next to it, was a small collection of pencils all in varying sizes of graphite. The drawers were mostly empty of material, finished drawings stuffed away from prying eyes. A set of throwing knives hidden behind the wood of the bottom drawer.

 

His father had given those to Damian after returning, like a last minute apology in the form of a (rather thoughtless) gift.

 

He found himself throwing off the covers, tiptoeing silently on bare feet, a small rustling coming from the damn childish pajamas Grayson purchased and insisted he wear. Another pathetic attempt at trying to make Damian normal.

 

The desk looked differently from this angle, the drawer more tempting, more inviting than it had been before. Damian couldn’t tell if he was nervous or exhilarated but his heart rate began to pick up. The room wasn’t dark anymore, now it seemed too bright, the smells too strong, and had these damn Nightwing pajamas always been this suffocating?

 

He was spiraling, he needed a distraction, he needed to calm himself before he ended up being caught by another family member.

 

He was pulling out a knife from the set, tilting it to see its gleam in the moonlight. He was ripping off his clothes, tearing the shirt over his head and tripping over the pants as he hurried out of them. he took a deep breath, the imaginary pressure finally off his lungs and skin. It was much better, being in only the pair of children’s underwear that matched the sleep set.

 

Damian breathed again, heavy and trembling as his eyes grew wet and droplets poured down his cheeks. His hands were shaking and he allowed himself to turn over the knife once more, admiring the curve of the blade.

 

He peeled his underwear down slightly, looking at the way his hipbone was visible from though his skin. He touched metal to his epidermis and _pulled_. He concentrated on his actions, muddled mind clearing and focusing on his one and only current duty. He finally felt free, the action wasn’t bringing him pain, only clarity.

 

Three pulls later the knife was back in its drawer, the side of his underwear returned. Leaving the pajamas in a heap on the floor and climbing on top of the covers, Damian lay down, sighed, and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION: Red Hood Fan Series deserves your love. Simply search for them on youtube to begin your addiction. This is not common cosplay, roles are by PROFESSIONAL actors and the AGES MATCH! Season one focuses on Jason Todd, Damian Wayne and Tim Drake. They have season two coming this month (on Friday), season one is available to watch right now! We are trying to connect them to DC! Please assist us by emailing WARNER BROS about them! Thank you!  
>    
> Comments are my coffee :,)


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